Okay, its a rough market out there. But here is a little financial humor to give you a chuckle, if even for just a moment.
Definitions: The New Financial Jargon....
Bull Market -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Bear Market -- A six to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no "loving."
Value Investing -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E Ratio -- The percentage of investors wetting theias the market keeps crashing.
Broker -- What my broker has made me.
Standard & Poor -- Your life in a nutshell.
Stock Analyst -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Stock Split -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
Market Correction -- The day after you buy stocks.
Institutional Investor -- Past year investor who is now locked up in a nuthouse.
Profit -- An archaic word no longer in use.
Rolling your eyes, or chuckling at this point?
Either way, I would respectfully disagree with the last point. Profits are out there. You need to know how to find them. And understand -- and respect -- the difference between greed . . . and smart, planned growth.